Carrier pigeon bringing news of a Socialist victory in France
We here at the Bloggingportal.eu ivory towers do not know for sure who won the French presidential elections last week. We are still waiting for the postman to transport the letter with the official results through the well-established European network of postal horse exchange stations and to arrive here at the towers.
What we know is that quite a number of carrier pigeons (lat. Columba bloga) brought messages mentioning a certain François Hollande: Some suspect he will be involved in quarrels with German empress Angela I. Some put great hopes in his democratic and European spirit. Yet others predict that he might strengthen her Majesty’s prime minister. There seems to be an agreement that he has to care for the economic situation of France, and that new methods are needed to also solve the European crisis.
Our Southern carrier pigeon stations report a high influx of messages written in Greek letters. They bring news of chaos, a radical left, a radical right as well as tendencies of the country to leave the European monetary empire in a state of complete denial. Only Europe’s policy pope Durão Barroso is still ignoring these carrier pigeon messages and invites the European policy bishops to travel to Greece – probably to get rid of them and to become the God of the Never-to-Come United States of Europe.
While we are still trying to decrypt all the Greek messages, post riders who started their journeys months ago in the Kingdom of Belgium brought news from vassal writers all around the continent to our ivory towers:
A prince in the European chamber is accused of conflicting interests. An unknown committee has been discharged. Our European borders are at risk. Those women rebel again and want to oust men from alchemy. The Council of royal advisors refuses a green agriculture, despite opposing voices, and prevents unworthy citizens from knowing where its gold is spent. The naval forces of Europe start to get serious about who will get most of the fish. And Europeans intend to sell the spears collectively, but have difficulties to agree.
We also receive worrying news from our spies placed in all the crucial places in Europe: The Irish are grasping for the European throne and threaten to block crucial decisions. Hungary faces dominion from foreign powers. The castle of Strasbourg is under constant attack. The Swedes are celebrating Europe, probably also to grasp for the throne. The chair of the European citizen chamber wants to rule, too. The Dutch digital queen wants to rule the virtual world. But Pope Durão controls everything while pretending to give powers to the citizens. This is why he will now be invited to the knights of the round table.
The State of the Union, we read from all those frightening messages, is bad, and we ask ourselves: What is the underlying reason for all this? We feel that we are so far, yet so close to a situation where it is even possible that the island of Cyprus may rule the European continent!? We wonder how to get out of this dangerous situation, and we suspect that we need to try something new. We now wait for the postman from China to bring new ideas!
Post scriptum:A French postman with the strange Hungarian name Sarkozy just arrived, half dead, confirming that François Hollande is now ruling France. The postman says he will continue to ride to Hungary now to save it from foreign dominion.
Growth – and how to get it – has been the big topic this week. Merkel and Hollande fought over the future of the EU’s Eurozone economy, and this may be seen as the point where Austerity Europe became Growth Europe (at least in rhetoric). Can Hollande walk the walk? Of course, the French election campaign isn’t the only place the austerity argument is being hammered out. In Ireland the Fiscal Stability Treaty is being put to the people, and some argue that a No might not bring the change people think it will bring. It all boils down to what is possible, because politics is the art of the possible.
Budgets have been causing all sorts of problems this week. Not only did the Dutch government fall over its austerity plans, but the Commission’s proposed 6.8% rise in the EU budget to meet commitments has hardly been the most welcomed Commission proposal ever. That’s unlikely to change if private jets are in the mix. Perhaps they should find some way of forcably raising more money?
Finally, it won’t be the Euroblogosphere without some self-criticism: Polscieu gives us some linguistic food for thought on the road to re:publica 2012.
It’s been a sleepy week here at Bloggingportal – perhaps people are still recovering from a mass indulgence in chocolate. But there were a few themes on the Euroblogosphere this week: democracy, (near) death, and taxes.
Taxes are an enduring preoccupation, particularly in the current economic climate, and the news that Amazon pays hardly any tax at all in the UK has started a debate over whether there should be some from of tax harmonisation in the EU. Speaking of the UK, it seems that Norwegian and UK Euroscepticism are two very different beasts. While the UK flavour sees the EU as a heavy regulator interfering in the market and reducing economic freedom, the Norwegian version sees it as a club of materialistic, neoliberal marketeers who want to roll back the state. Personally, I’m impressed that the EU can multi-task on this scale: it takes a lot to be the ultimate incarnation of two opposing ideologies.
Democracy was the major theme of the week. The next European elections will be HUGE (you heard it here first – now’s the time to invest in some Parliamentary knitwear before they drive the prices up)! However, while the EU is actually quite democratic, there is a danger that some European and international agreements will circumvent even the EU democratic process, such as the Bologna Process… Other international agreements, such as ACTA, have proven to be a very controversial issue for Europe and for the Parliament, who can decide whether to accept or reject it (though if you’re in the UK you might not have noticed the controversy). There may also be other positions in the EU that aren’t quite as democratic and perhaps too powerful…
Finally, some good news: a new tsunami did not materialise in the Indian Ocean despite the earthquakes. Hopefully it will be a long time before one does, and that we’ll be better prepared by then.
That’s all from Bloggingportal this week – enjoy your Orthodox Easter! (Or just continue to indulge in all of that chocolate. Mmm…).
A new world order is coming up, and euroblogs have painted the picture of this – our present and future – throughout the Week in Bloggingportal.
Behind every word, you will find a little Easter egg filled with a pleasant story of European politics and life – so don’t stop until you have read every single one!
It may have been the week when aliens from the moon Titan first contacted Commission President Barroso (he has connections galore), but here at Bloggingportal we don’t let such obvious political stunts distract from the real burning issues. Let’s take a look at what was the talk of the ‘sphere this week.
On a more international note, NATO governments have faced calls to release information on migrant deaths in the Mediterranean sea, and a proposal to reject a PNR treaty with the US has failed in the European Parliament. Speaking of the EP, nwhyte has taken up the issue of election tactics in Northern Ireland for the 2014 race, proving that it’s never to early to get started on the campaign.
That’s all for this week. Next week, Barroso teams up with our new Titanian friends to save Ireland from its politicial timewarp – so stay tuned!
In our last Week in Bloggingportal we finally spoke out to tell the truth and we must admit that this brought us quite some visitors. We are therefore grateful that at least some eurobloggers took the chance to reduce their submissiveness to attack the EU institutions and the rest of the eurosphere.
The Honeyball Buzzattacks Nigel Farage for getting too much attention. Sköne Okebashes Trade Commissioner de Gucht for his anti-democratic ramblings. The Berlaymonster pisses of the Commission’s Digital Society department by calling them names.
Open Europegoes after Fisheries Commissioner Damanaki who herself went after a 86-years old Italian writer for killing baby fish. George Pullicino is a little begrudged because of Damanaki, too. She wants him to make fish meal from baby fish but on Malta they do not have no baby fishmeal factory.
The Fox Additionthinks it’s time to discuss the EU’s democratic deficit (it’s always time!). Protesilaos Stavroumocks the Commission’s subsidy policy and the European blogosphere at the same time. And on the Presseurope Blog they stab poor Brussels lobbyists in the back.
On MyEurop, Francesca Spinelliobserves the fail in the EU’s communication policy. England Expectsdisregards the Commission’s eurocrat speak. The Grahnblawgrejoices itself with the assault by 10 member states on the Commission’s future budget plans, supported by La Oreja de Europa who by making EU budget spending more transparent ultimately wants a reduction, too (our guess). Last but not least, Der Spiegelfechterpaints a black picture claiming that the EU will fall apart starting from its periphery.
You see: That is the kind of week that you get when you for once tell the truth. Submissiveness turns into anger, anger turns into rage, and what is better for blogging than a decent rage?! (Speaking of blogging, some bloggers also talked blogosphere, but we won’t link it because we are not that self-referential.)
Look at those pseudo-political, pseudo-knowledgeable, and pseudo-critical eurobloggers, who do they think they are?
They are just a bunch of self-referential, submissive twits who think they are better than the rest of the world. Listening to them makes the planet more sad and more insecure. If they would finally shut up, we could eventually hear again the things that really matter.
Take Papers, Please! and their latest blog post about how Passenger Name Record agreements can be bypassed. Who cares about companies that transfer our personal data when all this is about is to make flying more secure for all of us?! Aren’t there more important topics to be covered?
Or read L’Europa @ torvergeta. They claim that the Russian elections are bad news for the EU. But did they raise their voice when EU elections were bad news for Russia? Those EU-centric bloggers seem to think that all this is about is to submit the rest of the world to the interests of 27 tiny states loosely tied in a Union where people don’t even speak the same language.
Euro Trash already has in its name what we should think of its author. And then she – a female blogger! – defends the European Commission’s top-down pro-women policy. So does she think she is the spokeswoman of the EU institutions, retransmitting the official communication line of Reding instead of criticising anything the EU institutions do? That would be more typical for those self-referential, attention-addicted bloggers. Oh, and a woman defending pro-women policy is like Monsanto arguing in favour of genetically modified seeds – pure self-interest and hardly credible!
The Eblana European Democratic Movement is another of those “Yeah I know what’s best for Ireland and for the European Union” bloggers. Why should anyone listen to somebody who came from Greece and now lives in Ireland when he recommends policies that favour the elites in both countries – elites s/he and her/his friends are most likely part of?
Others like the ECHR Blog play spokesperson for NGO coalitions, retransmitting their positions on the reform of the European Court of Human Rights without any critical appraisal. Is that what you would expect of from a good blog? I bet you wouldn’t!
And what about Eurology? He complains that Greece, despite its debts, is investing billions in weapons and military equipment, much more in relative terms than any other EU country. As if we wouldn’t know that! So what?! If that keeps businesses in Germany and France going and the Greek military happy, isn’t that the most positive thing you could imagine?! It seems this blogger lacks a little sense of economic and military perspective here…
Finally, the big predictor Georgi on Reuniting Europe. The European Parliament elections are still more than two years ahead, but this blogger thinks he knows who will win. And what kind of prediction is it to say that Anonymous will win the European elections?! That is common sense – or do you know the name of any Member of the European Parliament? Me neither – they are all anonymous anyway.
Now, what did we learn in this Week in Bloggingportal after all? Governments buy weapons, NGOs want a stronger pro-NGO court, women want more power for themselves, the EU is not a huge fan of Putin, companies transmit personal data without customers knowing about it, Europhile bloggers support massive empowerment of EU politicians, and MEPs are totally unknown. Do we really need bloggers for that? With a little bit of common sense and any cheap tabloid you can get to the same level of knowledge.
What a useless Week in Bloggingportal!
Disclaimer: The opinions and positions taken in this blog post may not represent the views of anyone involved in Bloggingportal.eu. Because their editors are a bunch of self-referential, submissive euroblogging twits!
It’s easy to see running themes in European politics (if the second time it’s comedy, then by the ten surely it’s a puppet show…?), but we’ve had quite a few topics over the past week.
EU institutions are under attack, from inside and outside forces. Most prominently, former UK foreign minister Jack Straw (Labour) wants to close down the EU Parliament. Jon Worth (Labour) doesn’t want this. The EP itself again wants to close down one of its seats.
At the same time, the European Council eviscerates itself. The normal Council is unable to take decisions. And the Commission’s role is also in danger, which is why Barroso and Sefcovic have to defend the Community Method wherever they can these days.
But not just EU institutions are in the line of fire. Even the European public is under attack as the Commission, strange bedfellow with ACTA, argues that there are anti-democratic forces behind the ACTA protests. Speaking of forces and ACTA, pro-ACTA lobbies are under attack for their lack of transparency. Speaking about lack of transparency, the EU Parliament has been caught meeting in secret on a future EU-US passenger name record agreement.
And since we already talk about agreements, Greece got a new deal this week in what some called a “Euro in Our Time moment“. There were many, many options on the table, but in the end it became the largest post-war debt restructuring. That is nice indeed, but discussion continue, and it looks like Greece needs, more than debt restructuring, a new beginning. But before that, we will see yet another Eurogroup and European Council meeting next week with yet more decisions on Greece and the EU economy to come.
So everyone is under attack: EU institutions, the European public public, EU member countries, EU lobbies, EU transparency, EU policies. Surprisingly, live goes on and while some seem to be hurt, no one has been killed last week. Not even in other news and comments of the last week:
Europasionariastarts loving Brussels (quite positive!). Mathewadvises the EU institutions on social media (quite nice!). OpenCorporates co-develop an EU Business Vocabulary (quite interesting!). DoDoanalyses the European Parliament’s role in checking the latest developments in Hungary (quite important!. Broadsheetmocks an online quiz by the Commission’s Employment Directorate General (quite funny!). And Mary Honeyballcongratulates the Nucleus of Tory euro-realists (quite friendly!).
In the end, the Week in Bloggingportal was a pretty average week. Life goes on, and EU blogs go along. That’s probably quite fine.
PS: Outside our brave new Euroworld, life is not as fine, especially looking to Syria. Just mentioning…
There’s also been discussion over the need for security on the internet. And in Ireland there’s been discussion over the possible effects of Irish copyright law on Internet Service Providers.
World events also rumble on regardless of internal European politics: Syria has grown into a massive global problem. Also, of a perhaps less urgent nature, there is some debate on the Euroblogosphere over how Turkey must match its economic growth with democratic growth.
In UK politics the EU is never straightforward for a Conservative Prime Minister, but it’s been pointed out that the fascination with Nordic countries like Sweden ignores the fundamental differences between Cameron’s “big society” and the Swedish social compact. Or will cultural and social exchanges start to go beyond episodes of Borgen?
Speaking of Denmark, there was recently a conference on smart borders there – how will EU immigration policy develop as the crisis continues…?
